She drove a nail into his heart and buried it deep.
Though the pain was crippling, he didn't cry out.
He embraced it. Grew in spite of it.
Determined to survive, become his tallest, stretch his furthest.
To age and have someone admire his strength
And die one day on his own terms, greater than he'd ever been.
I will surround myself
with beautiful things,
paint every moment pastel.
I will choose to see the sunlight,
to rest in the shadows,
and always lean into the wind.
I will hold hands with hope and laughter.
I will dance in the rain,
believing tomorrow is greater than today.
My Place: An Ode To The Healthy Introvert
I find my happiness in the mundane, in the same-old, same-old. I see my life as a straight line, devoid of dips and valleys, but also heights or mountain tops. I don't want to fall or fly. I define boring.
I'm organization, keep-to-the-schedule. Never early. Never late. I am dependable, faithful. The gears that keep progress turning. While some soar or climb, taking a circuitous, scenic route. I am the highway that enables them to get there. Usually misunderstood but satisfied with my existence in the box I have made my home.
I like these walls. Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t have regret. Don’t shake your head and say, “If only she got out more.” Don’t worry over me or have any deep concerns. I am not unhappy in this space. Nor unsettled. Nor unsatisfied. I’m not gazing out the windows, longing for something that hasn’t been. For someplace I cannot go.
I have found my place.
I don’t need to dress up to enter or have to act a certain way while I’m inside. This is me. I lack only your understanding. That while you swim and hike, bike and boat, while you sail over foreign lands and seas, while you glory in other cities, cultures, and landscapes, during these events that you have chosen, you know that for all you’ve seen, for every mile you’ve walked, every food you’ve sampled from some famed table, there are people like me, fulfilled by schedule, by an afternoon’s sunshine, a summer’s light breeze.
My life is not a weight I need anyone to carry. Oh, it has good and bad moments like anyone else, but they are not because I’m unhappy where I am. Instead, I know who I am, and I accept it. I may search for a job, for entertainment … yes, even in my square of life, I need that, too … but my searching doesn’t lead me to become like you.
I won’t wake up and wish to change my life one iota. Perhaps, in that is strength. That I can rejoice with you for every gathering you attend, every concert, every crowd you navigate. That you will rejoice with me when I simply turn another page. Same house, same room, same chair. And love me anyway.
Just like I am.
Suzanne D. Williams, Author
Suzanne D. Williams, Author